Well. It’s 1 AM and I absolutely have no idea as to why I am currently still awake. Perhaps this wakefulness can be blamed on my Summer vacation or merely because of how hot my room is (temperature wise). And holy ****, I haven’t blogged on here for decades ;____;
There are countless of things I want to blog about, but I am definitely uncertain on how to start this blog off… Sigh. Too many feelings and thoughts that I have yet to unleash from my puny brain. A perpetual cycle, is it not?
Anywho, I graduated. Yaay. I’m not too enthusiastic about it though.. Haha. In my opinion, graduation was not just a day when you walk up a stage to receive your fake diploma. Although graduation never really “hit” me, (pretty sure it did not shoot its emotional arrow towards other students as well), it really brought to my attention that my recklessness and immaturity had to end. Hell, I’m growing up. ):
I’m really going to miss my friends. Throughout my years in high school, I never realized how many wonderful people there were at the campus. I always thought the saying “You never know what you have until it’s gone” was very cliche. However, most cliche sayings are relatively true, and in this case, that saying especially applied to me. I took advantage of friendships; I told myself I had plenty of time to talk to them and make time for them, but considering how time flies, I really did not. I’ll sincerely miss all of you guys because you all are going to be so far away from me. I never thought I’d care so much, but I really do. Best of luck to all of us in college. :*
So. My plan is to go to De Anza and hopefully transfer out within two years. Actually, that wasn’t the intended plan, but adjustments had to be made. I really wanted to go to a UC, but I didn’t manage to get into any of them. Ashamed and downright sad were the feelings I felt that entire month of college acceptances and rejections. You see friends/classmates ecstatic and jumpy from being accepted into the colleges of their preference while you’re just there, dwelling on the rejections. Yeah, I definitely cried about it. But after a while, I undoubtedly blamed and still blame myself for not working hard enough those past four years. I did not have a plan on what I wanted to do after high school; all I knew was that I had to go to college. Hence being at De Anza is not as dreadful in my perspective anymore, since I’ll be able to straighten out what I want to do with my life, despite the shriveled hopes of living in a dorm my first year. By the way, congratulations to all those who were accepted to their favored college. You all deserve the spot. (:
On a completely different subject: I love my mom. Well, everyone loves their mom… :x I don’t know what caused this, but I realized how precious my mom is to me. Her birthday was on the 15th of August and I knew this, but when it actually turned the 15th, I forgot. -___- I was so out of touch with time that I forgot my own mom’s birthday. I really wanted to throw her a surprise birthday party to celebrate how much I appreciate her, BUT I FORGOT. Yes. I teared about it. ;_; I felt like I wasted my entire teenage years for not cherishing my mom enough. She worked and still works for my siblings and my family. She’d come home from work, stressed, but not able to relax because food had to be prepared for all of us. And I? I’d go out and eat with my friends. BAD DAUGHTER, YES. D: Time creeps by too fast. I wish I could take back all those years and be a filial daughter for her. My parents are growing older each day; if only time could temporarily deter itself so that I can replace my obliviousness towards this situation. All I want is an unlimited amount of time to love and appreciate them more…
Ahhhh. I’m pretty worn out now. Such rambling…… x_x
Good night world.